Are Excuses Holding You Back?

“Be who you’ve always wanted to be. No excuses.”

Easier said than done, right?

Many of us carry around a list of reasons why change feels out of reach:

• “I’m too exhausted to exercise.”
• “I forget to drink water.”
• “Meditation is too hard.”
• “I need to prioritize everyone else’s needs before my own.”
• “I don’t have the money to start my dream project.”

Excuses keep us stuck. They allow old, familiar patterns to run the show, holding us in our comfort zones—and often, in mediocrity. I know this because I’ve had my fair share of “giving in” moments, settling for the easy path that didn’t demand much energy or risk. But this approach only led to dissatisfaction, frustrations with my health, career, and relationships. It was only when I took full responsibility for my thoughts and stopped justifying my inaction that things began to change.

The truth is, our brains are wired for efficiency, conserving energy by turning habits into automatic responses. This can be incredibly helpful for tasks like driving or brushing our teeth, but not when it comes to habits that don’t serve us—like hitting the snooze button or reaching for junk food. Once these behaviors become automatic, they reinforce an identity around them. We start seeing ourselves as “not a morning person” or someone “with no willpower.” This identity loop keeps us stuck.

To make real changes, we need to break out of these well-worn patterns. The first step? Disrupt the routine. Just one change a day can start to shift how you see yourself. Wake up 15 minutes earlier, work out regularly, add more whole foods into your diet. Each small act begins to change your identity, and over time, repeating these actions requires less effort.

Another major player in holding us back are the “subpersonalities” or parts of ourselves that feel threatened by change. These parts—the Inner Critic, the Saboteur, the Excuse Maker—are often trying to protect us from discomfort or perceived failure. Unfortunately, their “protection” usually comes in the form of self-sabotage. If you’ve practiced being the Saboteur for years, its feedback loop will naturally feel strong. And since our brains favor ease, these self-sabotaging voices can be hard to overcome.

But you can work with these parts of yourself, understanding the fears or motives behind them, to weaken their hold. By shifting the power balance and allowing the determined, growth-focused parts of yourself to lead, you start creating a new narrative. Instead of living by your fears or limiting beliefs, you’ll start aligning with the vision of who you truly want to be.

Ultimately, it’s about deciding who you want to be—no excuses. Then, make that person a reality through consistent, small steps and by working with every part of yourself. When you do, you’ll find the life you’ve been yearning for isn’t so far out of reach after all.

Here are practical next steps to help you break free from excuses and move toward the life you want:

1. Identify Your Common Excuses

Start by making a list of the most frequent excuses you use. It might be lack of time, energy, confidence, or resources. For each excuse, ask yourself if it’s truly a limitation or if it’s simply your mind’s way of staying comfortable. Be honest—this is a chance to see where you’re holding yourself back.

2. Choose One Small Change to Start

Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to tackle everything at once. Pick one small action that challenges your status quo and commit to it for a week. For example, if you’re trying to work out more but feel exhausted, start with a 5-minute stretch routine instead of a full workout. Over time, small changes can shift how you view yourself and your capabilities.

3. Set a Simple “Identity Goal”

An identity goal focuses on who you want to become rather than just what you want to achieve. Instead of saying, “I want to be healthy,” reframe it to “I’m becoming someone who prioritizes their well-being.” Write this down and revisit it daily. By linking your actions to your identity, you’ll have more motivation to follow through.

4. Work with Your “Subpersonalities”

Notice the parts of yourself that resist change (like the Inner Critic or Excuse Maker). Ask yourself what these parts are trying to protect you from and if they’re still serving you. Sometimes, just acknowledging these subpersonalities and gently questioning their motives can reduce their influence.

5. Create an Accountability System

Partner with someone you trust, join a supportive community, or use an app to track your progress. Share your goals and let someone else check in with you regularly. Knowing someone is rooting for you can help you stay on track, especially on tougher days.

6. Celebrate Small Wins

Each time you follow through on a change, take a moment to recognize it. You’re reprogramming your mind, and celebrating even the smallest victory strengthens that change. Give yourself credit for waking up earlier, making a healthy meal, or completing your daily meditation.

7. Reflect and Adjust Regularly

At the end of each week, reflect on your progress. Notice what worked, what didn’t, and if any new excuses have surfaced. Adjust your actions as needed, and keep going. This reflection process will keep you engaged and focused on long-term change.

8. Be Compassionate with Yourself

Change is hard. On the days you fall back into old patterns, resist the urge to criticize yourself. Instead, remind yourself of the identity you’re working toward and take the next best step. Compassion helps you move forward without getting discouraged.

These steps are your foundation. You’re building new habits, strengthening your commitment, and ultimately, transforming into the person you’ve always wanted to be—one small step at a time.